Mormon Rap

I'm putting Salt Lake City on the map! Just got back from Huntsman Cancer Hospital in SLC. Trying to connect with my neurosergeon here in Provo to discuss another surgery followed by chemo (probably BCCU). Feeling okay, a little tired, lightheaded, cloudy, and vertigo/dizzyness stuff. I can feel the tumor swelling, but it's not causing any headahes this time so that's really good. Just not sure if surgery is worth it again or if different chemo will help much. Onc at Huntsman has little hope beyond 6-9 months for surgery and chemo (more like 6 months for just surgery and 3 months for just chemo) no prognosis or much discussion on no treatment. Yeah he wasn't very positive compared to my onc in Provo. So I'm trying to get in ASAP to see neurosurgeon and talk about effectiveness of surgery-tumor has shifted a liitle so it may be a little tricky and/or less effective than last time, but we'll see. I need to wait 2-4 weeks anyway to get all the Avastin out of my body so it doesn't interfer.
So phsyically and mentally I'm slowing down a little and working through what I should do. Professionally/scholarly I'm wondering of I can do this internship now or if I should try and put it off for 3 months. I may have to move back in with my parents if I have another surgery, lose my driver's licience, and need rehab etc. Chemo may affect me a lot too-no way of knowing yet. Iguess I'll just have to figure it out. Any opinions, suggestions, thoughts, or examples from similar real life experiences?

The Waiting

So The Waiting really is the hardest part. I'm still waiting for an appointment with Dr (Garry?) Coleman in SLC to discuss going on BCNU. They don't have any here in Utah Valley, the manufacturer doesn't have any and aren't making any, so I have to see someone at Hunstman, then get scheduled for a dose, then get the dose. It's frustrating because the MRI on 2/7/11 showed growth and I got my last dose of Avastin on 2/9/11, and should have started on the BCNU (or something else) immediately. A month is a long time to leave a tumor growing unchecked in your brain. I've been very patient, but I'm with Indigo from "The Princess Bride" when he says, "I hate waiting!" I'll update here and facebook when I actually have an update to give.

Cancer-MCR style

For those of you who haven't heard, I am back on the sauce. That's right, I got an IV infusion of decadron (dexamethosone) yesterday, and I am going to the pharmacy today to get it in pill form. It reduces swelling in the brain, but has other side effects like swelling in the face and head, weight gain, peeing all the time, and a few other minor stuff. Good news is it had an immediate positive effect and I woke up early today, did homework, exercised a little, and feel much better. I just hope it continues after I start BCNU chemo treatment this week. I take that through IV every 6 weeks. I have another apt with my doc in 2 weeks to talk about the steroid and how I'm doing, and an MRI in 6 weeks to see if BCNU has helped at all and if I should continue getting it.

I don't know if I posted this link here or somewhere else, but seriously My Chemical Romance's music video for their song "Cancer" is amazing. If you don't tear up while watching the little girl's support for her friend (who is a cancer patient) then you have no soul and you are an embodied minion of Satan. Just to clarify, hair loss is not a usual side effect of this medication, but I have no problem with shaving my head (as many of you know) if it comes to that. I just wanted to share that song with you as it helps explain some feelings many cancer patients (including myself) have and deal with from time to time. Just to assure you, this song's lyrics are appropriate for all ages unlike many of My Chemical Romance's other material. You are safe.