The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

One of my favorite ESPN commercials is the one they ran for a few years during Bowl Season. They declared Bowl Season as the most wonderful time of the year-and it is!! It just so happens that it coincides with Christmas and New Years. I started a new family tradition last year-the annual Pulsipher family Bowl Pick-em Challenge. Everyone sends in their picks for each bowl before the first one starts, and winner so far only gets bragging rights (we need to up the ante). I only got one game right yesterday (BYU over UTEP), but everyone in my family got that right so I'm not doing that great. Justin, my brother -in-law, is in the lead batting 1000 so far. I am proud of my sister for finding and marrying such a great sports prognosticator, but I hate him for beating me (I think he won last year too). I have mixed feelings to say the least.
Christmas season is really here, I finished my shopping, made a gingerbread house, saw the lights at temple square, went to our ward's Christmas party, watched the First Presidency's Christmas message, and went to a Christmas fireside.
Here's to the best Christmas ever!!

The Monkey's Uncle

Who remembers the 60s Disney Classic with the chimp and Tommy Kirk? The Monkey's Uncle was an instant classic. While everyone who knows me well knows that I don't like animals unless they are grilled and on my dinner plate, I do like being an uncle and sometimes it seems like my nephew and nieces are little monkeys, climbing all over the place and look at those cheesey grins! I got to see them all for Thanksgiving at my parent's house, and it was a blast, they are so fun. We played hide and seek and button button, read books, watched movies, and ate a lot of good food!

Above is Grant (4) and Olivia (2) in one picture and Brynlee (almost 2) in the other. Cute little monkeys huh?

The Monster Mash

I know you've all been waiting for it, and so here I come to fulfill your hopes and dreams, and fill your little heads with pics from Halloween. As some of you know I've been growing a full beard for almost 3 months to get ready for Halloween. I made an epic Moses and gained a lot of respect from all the guys when I told them the beard was the real mckoy. With all due respect to Chad Riding (Moses was his costume last year) and Charelton Heston (the model for my costume), I made the best Moses ever. I went to a few parties and even danced The Monster Mash a couple of times. The cops even showed up at the last party so you know it was awesome, and it reminded me of when the cops showed up at my parties when I was an undergrad.

Miracle

So I've seen my fair share of miracles in my short (ha ha) life. But this week takes the cake. So I had to change my vehicle registration to UT. The emissions and safety tests were normal in that I failed and had to get something fixed; the miracle occurred the next day when I had to go to the DMV and get new plates. Expecting a long wait, I brought a textbook with me. I walked into a silent empty room! My number was called before I even had a chance to sit down! I couldn't believe it, it made no sense, it was truly miraculous. Adding to the experience was the fact that I got my "get out of jail free" card updated and renewed. I once again have the power to park right by the door in a full parking lot. As soon as word gets around I will be the most popular guy yet again.
"Huh, only one miracle this week," you say. "Not much to write home about." But, no! It doesn't end there. I went on a blind date that was actually really great! We went to a really cool charity concert/event thing. The MC did amazing impressions, the band was pretty cool, and the other entertainer was a great singing performer-his dance moves were amazing, his hips were awesome! Tori (my date who as it turns out is not blind, big plus!) and I may have had 1 slightly awkward pause all night, but that's it. For those who know me, especially post-cancer me, this is a miracle in and of itself. But I couldn't believe that she was short, pretty, and cool (she likes ACDC and the Red Soxs), that's never happened on a blind date before.
Two miracles in one week! I hope I haven't used up all my miracle karma; next week is key as I have several Halloween parties, an MRI, an internship interview, and plenty of other stuff going on and hoping for little miracles.

One Week

It's been one week since I've laid eyes or feet on the lush soil of Washington. It doesn't feel like home here in P-town yet but it's getting there. I've enjoyed old favorites (La Caretta, BYU football) and new favorites (The Parlor). A nice surprise was to see that Robbie Hamblin (an old friend) is in my ward, and they just finished reassigning all the big callings, so it looks like I'm destined to be a hymn-book coordinator.
Friday night I got to be a chaperon at a Halloween party for mentally disabled kids in Orem. We played Halloween bingo, Halloween pictionary, and pin the tail on the (Halloween?) donkey, We had fun, and I didn't have to sit at home alone on a Friday like a loser because I don't really know anyone yet.
I live in a 2 story 5 bedroom 2 bathroom duplex. It's fairly spacious, but with 5 guys in there it's kind of cramped. One of my roommates (Sean) just bought an old fridge so now we have 2 and that will help a lot. Our duplex is on the corner of canyon rd and 2680 N (222 E 2680 N), it's less than a mile from the stadium so I can walk down to football games. It's a pretty good location altogether, close to the dollar theater and Buy Low Market area, not far from University Mall in Orem, and right off of University Ave and Canyon rd so everything's pretty accessible.
If you come to town make sure you give me a shout-out.

Summer's Almost Gone

A few days ago on the last day of summer I woke up to Morison's words in my head, "Summer's almost gone...Where will we be when the summer's gone?" I looked out the window and knew where I would be; enjoying my brand new grass lawn. That's right, my landlord finally put down sod on the last day of summer. Winter may be comin' on but I have a lawn made of grass. No longer will I toil in the dirt and rock lawn that has been my only escape; now I lounge in the green flora God invented for man. The apartment kids are playing football on the grass as I type, too bad I am moving out in a week.

Take me out to the Ballgame!

Last night I basically lived the American dream. I went to the Dust Devils' game (Colorado Rockies short season A affiliate) with my dad and two of my brothers. I ate peanuts and cracker jacks, cheered for the home team, stretched in the middle of the 7th inning, and belted out the American classic "Take me out to the Ballgame." I am excited for the MLB post season and all the good things the next couple of months will bring. I will be moving to a duplex in Provo, UT on Oct. 1st (220E 2680 N). Here, I will once again enjoy ESPN during the best sports month of the year. I just finished my 1st year of grad school and I am excited about classes the next 2 quarters and then I start an internship for the last 6 months. I got Halloween, my 3 year tumorversary, and my birthday right in a row. Prognosis positive doctor!

Reunion

Had my 10 year high school reunion last weekend and I think TV has misled me for the first time in my life. The hot cheerleader and the football star didn't get back together (they didn't even show up), no one hired a stripper to be his/her date, and no one cared about anything that did or didn't happen in high school. We were just a bunch of working stiffs who hadn't talked to each other in 10 years, (in case anyone who went reads this there were some exceptions of course-you know who you are) Kind of anticlimactic, but fun to see old friends. Strange, I never felt like I was comin' home, maybe that's because I live less than a mile from the old high school and had to travel away from it to get to the reunion site.

If you're goin' to San Francisco...

Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair. Seriously, I forgot to wear one and the mean glances and impenetrable stares didn't stop until I got back on the airplane. Scott McKenzie knew what he was talking about.
So yeah, I went to San Francisco and had a blast with my old college roommates Matt and Chad. We saw the sites in the Bay area, watched Zito carry a shutout through the 8th inning (and be awarded the 1-0 win), went to the State Fair in Sacramento, and generally had a good time hanging out and reminiscing. The best part was probably going to church and finding out that the primary had a put together a long paper chain around a picture of Jesus. Naturally I assumed it was a "Jesus is Coming" advent chain. I was tempted to pull off a few chains to screw everybody up, but my nice guy instincts kicked in too fast.
The day before I left, I met with a replacement oncologist (my onc was on vacation) and wanted me to have a spinal tap that day and go to the hospital to see if the "smooth dural enhancement" on my last MRI was meningitis, metastases or something else. At first I thought it would be really cool like the band and its documentary, but then found out it's a potentially painful test that is somewhat risky for patients with a tumor in the back part of the brain. I don't need to endure any more pain and discomfort, or increase my risk of morbidity or mortality just because a doctor is jittery and prone to over testing and over treating. Turns out it's in the "something else" column, it has to do with my ventricular shunt. I'm glad I didn't go crazy and put off my trip to California, it was a good time.

Going to California

That's right folks, I'm going to California today. Hangin' out in San Fran and Sac-Town with my old college roommates. I am looking forward to a two hour big jet plane ride with my favorite Led Zeppelin song on continuous replay.

Green Green Grass of Home

For those of you who don't know, I've had a giant backhoe in my dirt yard for awhile now and last week it was joined by a smaller tractor-like backhoe. It was fun for a time, but a man wants a lawn to grill on, relax on, and mark his territory on. To my wonderment, they are both gone, the dirt has been smoothed out, and the dirt is being watered! Does this mean we're finally getting the grass we were promised 10 months ago? I am so excited to finally join Tom and touch the green green grass of my home.

Caught in a Bad Romance

Despite the suggestive title, I am not involved a new romance, good or bad. No, Lady Gaga's hit was one of our theme songs at the First Descents camp I went to recently. We went kayaking down the Klickitat and rafting down the Little White Salmon in Washington. It was tons of fun, but really hard and really wore me out-I haven't quite been the same since. First Descents is an organization that sets up these week-long camps for young cancer survivors and everything is paid for. The instructors/counselors are amazing kayakers; professionals with stunt videos who leisurely paddle backwards and direct me as I am struggling to keep afloat going forwards. They took tons of pictures and made a youtube video. The soundtrack is not family friendly and you may want to watch it on mute. I will be posting photos soon, so look forward to that.

Don't Stop Believing

So a couple of days ago I found the greatest book title & tag line combo ever. The Plutonium Blonde: He was the last P.I. on the planet, but could he save the world from a nuclear-powered, genocidal, exotic-dancing fembot? Wow. What a literary masterpiece. Imagine my deep and delightful guffaw when I found it was published in 2001, not 1971 at the height of the science fiction era. It is clear that the science fiction awesomeness of the 70's continues to live on. Don't stop believing in things long past, history often repeats itself (as we can see from today's hideous fashion trends that are reawakening nightmares that I put to sleep long ago).
To continue your rock education I will teach you that former Foreigner front man Steve Perry hails from Hanford, CA. Additionally, Richland, WA (my current residence) is home to the Hanford nuclear site which produced the plutonium for the atomic bomb dropped on Nagasaki, Japan to end World War II. It also produced plutonium for countless tests and our atomic arsenal during the cold war. Some "liberal" reporters also claim the site engineered a crazy fembot who threatened to destroy world peace, but those claims are unsubstantiated.

Go to Hell

Some of you may remember the Hollywood favorite "God's Army," and it's signature song about how seemingly everyone (except the Mormons) are going to Hell. Well this week I was back knocking doors, instead of telling people they were going to Hell I got to tell them they were going to prison unless they filled out their census form. Just kidding, I never told anyone that, but I can because a fine and/or jail time is the punishment for refusing to fill out a census form. So if you have a problem with your census taker make sure you yell out the line, "then I'll see you in Hell!" if they try to force you to do anything you don't want to do. They'll smile a sad little smile as they realize you're right; prison, Hell, what's the difference?

Mama, I'm Coming Home

Just like Ozzy, I went home for Mother's Day this year. My brother cooked the meal and I did most of the clean-up. It was hard keeping my mother out of the kitchen and trying to tell her to just relax. We had a good time and I have a great mother. So Happy Mother's Day to all you mother's out there-you're probably doing a great job.

Back in the Sadle Again

I'm back baby!! That's right, I entered the workforce. I am now a crew leader assistant for the 2010 census. I guess it's really temporary-it ends on June 7th, which makes me really happy because I had a lot of fun planned for this summer; at least one day trip to Seattle, weekend trip to San Fransisco, week-long cancer survivor's retreat (kayaking in White Salmon, WA), and 2 family reunions to name a few. I just needed to refill the coffers, and since Washington pays lots for menial labor, I should be better prepared financially for summer fun.
I have used this blog in the past as a sounding board for the awesomeness of rock and the putrescence of country "music." Aerosmith showcases another example of how rock artists can take and explore a typically country theme and lyrical score and turn it into something noteworthy and awesome instead of melodramatic cat droppings. Kenny Chesney and his fake man boobs should just stop spreading horribleness (I couldn't resist the jab). After watching this blog's video, it's clear where Liv got her Angelina Joliesque lips; it's great to see families in the entertainment business, the Baldwin's can only take familial ties so far.

Welcome to the Machine

On April 1st I was "admitted to the machine" and became enrolled in medicare parts A, B, and D. For the under 65 crowd that's hospital insurance, medical insurance, and drug insurance. I tell you when I chose my title for a blog it's scary how many aspects of my life are evidenced by the lyrics, melody, and album in general.

"You've been in the pipeline, filling in time" is reminiscent of minor league baseball players putting in their time in the pipeline to the bigs-and the MLB just opened with a Red Sox victory! I am so happy the Sox beat the Yankees on Opening Day! Its definitely a sign of good things to come and Stephen King reminded us (in Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption) that Hope Springs Eternal every spring.

"And you didn't like school..." I really liked college but I like grad school a lot less, it is just really hard for me to concentrate on it and get excited/motivated about studying and doing assignments. Especially my Environmental Health class (Green Party Propaganda 101).

I was also recently invited to become a cog in The Machine that is the U.S. census. I got offered a full time office job but had to decline because I didn't think I could handle it and school.
So if anyone has scholarly insights on malaria control without DDT let me know. I should be doing my own research right now, but as I've graced you with a post, it's the least you can do.

The New American Way

As I promised I'm including a few pics from St. Patrick's Day festivities. Some pretty lucky people caught the leprechaun this year, but strangely enough my title refers both to my playlist at the party and the current socio-political climate. I've heard a lot of conservative anger/angst against Obamacare and I've also been directed by my "fair and balanced" University to contact my congressional representative to encourage them to support the new legislation. As the plan will increase health care coverage, especially among low-income high-risk groups, it is public health's short term dream in some major ways. I'm not going to pontificate more on the subject as the scant literature I've read on the legislation is biased and I don't know enough about it to competently comment. But I will say that Dropkick Murphys said it perfectly in my title track, "I know I'll win my battles, though I fear we'll loose the war to the new American way." Socialization is the new American way. You can battle against it if you wish, but I fear you'll lose the war.

Run Like Hell

Saturday, March 20th was the 1st annual Ribbon River Run. It was your choice of a 5K or a 1 mile to benefit the patient and family programs at the Tri-Cities Cancer Center. So my team and I ran the 1 mile with the gray ribbon for brain cancer.

For the conservative base (meaning family) who are offended at my title, you should know that the PG-13 word is not in the lyrics of this awesomeness that is Pink Floyd; it's just part of the title.
Teaser!!! Pics et al. from my St. Patrick's Day party are coming!

Jiggle, Jiggle, Jiggle!

To young people today Bill Cosby is best remembered as the weird, old, suspect, host of the somewhat tired "Kid's Say the Darndest Things." To us twenty-somethings he remains the quirky jello and pudding pops spokesperson; he introduced me to jello jigglers. But I prefer to remember him for the wisdom he imparted in his book "I am what I ate..And I'm Frightened!!!: And Other Digressions from the Doctor of Comedy." In this treasure trove of knowledge Dr. Cosby talked about the male phenomenon of delaying medical care. He posed that "I didn't have it until I went to the doctor," when discussing his high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Some health professionals (especially women) laugh at this aphorism and discard it as misplaced machismo, I however stand before you today to unabashedly proclaim the gospel of Coz and warn all men to stay away from the medical profession.

After 10 months of blessed separation from doctors I needed a doc's permission to go to a cancer survivor's retreat this summer-kayaking in White Salmon, WA. He of course ordered an MRI and the awfulness began...Hours of my life were sucked away waiting for him, various imaging professionals, my neurologist and others only to find that I have definitely felt worse in body and spirit after getting info on exactly how big my tumor is and having my neurologist go into a frenzy and my oncologist wanting to have another surgery and more treatment in Seattle. And I honestly feel a little worse physically as if the little bast*#d has been jiggling around like some keys on the chain of my brain. I've just felt the tumor effects more than I have in several months. For those who want to know it's a little smaller than a squished out pool ball-6cm at it's longest. And I started Avastin treatments again today. It's an IV treatment to constrict blood vessels leading to the tumor site (which incidentally is in my brain, and I know that constricting blood flow to the brain is usually not a good thing). But anyway just stay away from doctors-they only make everything worse. Except for you guys with little kids-take them to the doc, they don't have the immune system to play the avoidance game.

So despite this new realization (or because of it) I'm still planning on "running" in the 2010 Ribbon River Run. Feel free to join my team or donate to my team at tccancer.org. St. Patrick's Day is still on the docket as well-and you all had better celebrate and pass out in your driveway or your kitchen or something. March certainly promises a lot of madness and I am looking forward to it.

PS Just a reminder to pay your taxes so I can get cheap medical insurance next month when I go on Medicare.

Short People

I feel kind of like Alfalfa did when he said, "then the clouds opened up and God said, 'I hate you Alfalfa.'" I just got the word that the ides of March came early this year and stabbed me in the back. St. Patrick's Day is officially cancelled. There will be no merriment, no song, no jig, and no leprechaun. The Avalanche has reneged and will not allow me use of their restaurant-and I have no other viable options. Just as I was feeling better and thinking maybe I could really get on with my life and host a party like gold ol' pre-cancer times-I get hammered back into reality. It's not in the cards for you fella. On the brink of redemption, damnation rears its ugly head yet again. So now what do I do? I guess I put all my eggs in one basket this time and took a shot-but it caromed off the edge. Pour a little on the sidewalk for a fallen friend would you? I guess Paul Newman was right.
I suppose I sound a bit melodramatic, but I've always been a little theatrical, plus I spent over 4 hours at the docs today-mostly waiting around. But as you can see I'm trying to deal with continued disappointment in a healthy way, with humor (see Randy Newman clip above), and with candid online conversations about my feelings.

Smokin' in the Boy's Room

Everyone remembers this almost sacred ritual of middle school with fondness. Ah, to be 14 again (ok, so nobody has ever wanted that, except for maybe Romeo, so he could not kill himself while his star-crossed lover yet lived). Anyway, I went to the public library yesterday, was browsing the bookshelf, and happened on this little ditty, "The Art of Smoking." My thoughts immediately turned to Brownsville Station and their reminiscent ballad to illegal behavior. So what if I was in the cooking section? My masculinity is still intact because 1. chicks like guys who will cook for them, 2. smoking is right alongside barbecuing as masculine methods of cooking, and 3. the first thing I thought of was really tobacco use, even though I was in the cooking section. I wish I had a candy cigarette to take a picture with-it's cold enough outside that my breath would look like smoke to a camera. Just imagine it in your mind. As an afterthought I realize that Motley Crue's Smokin' in the Boy's Room rooks harder, but on that fateful afternoon I thought of Brownsville Station first.

Lollipop

I found the Goodwill Industries store in Pasco today and I'll tell you, I was like a kid in a candy store. What a great place! It's twice as big and twice as awesome as the Goodwill in Richland-I just had no idea where it was. I got a few books, a board game, a dish, and I finally found a green vest-so don't worry, St. Patrick's Day is going to go off without a hitch. I've been looking for a green vest at every store I could think of for weeks-nothing. Finally, I saw the Goodwill truck today after leaving the Senior Center in Pasco-and I followed it to Mecca. That's right, Im like a wiley, ethical ambulance chaser.

So I'll tell you like I told my less intimate facebook friends: the party is probably March 20th at 9 or 10pm at The Avalanche Restaurant in Richland, WA. There will be music, jigging, pictures with a Leprachaun, and of course lots of (soda) drinking. This year we will have root beer pong, and dice, card, and dart games, plus more! It will be a blast as always. This is basically what I've been doing with my life-planning St. Patrick's Day. I don't have any other updates to add. Besides being like a kid in a candy store, I assume I'm the guy the Chordettes were singing about.

Only a Pawn in Their Game

Those who know me and the unschooled in rock and folk protest classics may think this post is about chess, Robert "Bobby" Fischer, or my former job title, "Chessmaster Tyler." However, while chess can be an interesting parlor game of strategy, Bobby Fischer was an important part of the U.S. victory in the cold war, (think Rocky IV when Rocky KO'd Drago and captured the hearts of the USSR, but insert Bobby and the evil steroid-induced mastermind Boris Spasky for Rocky and Drago) and those days as a "chessmaster" were formative for me, there is a much more important meaning in the title. Weirdly enough today is the 2nd anniversary of Bobby Fischer's death, but as Robert Zimmerman (Bob Dylan) fans know we are here to talk about Medgar Evers' assassination on June 12, 1963.

Mr. Evers was a civil rights activist and the first Mississippi Field Secretary for the NAACP. I'll let you read about his life and legacy at the link I provided. I think of him this time of year because of Nobel Laurette Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and his work in the civil rights arena and subsequent assassination, (which you can read about at the link above). It is Martin Luther King Jr. Day tomorrow for those of you you have no idea what I'm talking about.

Zimmerman was outraged at Mr. Evers' death and wrote a protest song blaming his death on southern politicians. Arguing that the poor, uneducated, white southern man was a pawn in the hands of the southern politicians who wanted Mr. Evers dead, Zimmerman claimed that these grifty politicians avoided spending money on needed social programs and soothed white discontent by assuring them that "you got more than blacks don't complain. You're better than them, you been born with white skin..." This way they ease white unrest and gain a compatriot in the fight against desegregation and equality. Zimmerman claims politicians tacitly egged on the lynchers and then turned a blind eye to the murderous results. Here of course he shifts responsibility for the murder and the general racial injustice from the murderer and individuals to the government (a favorite ploy of protesters to absolve themselves of any guilt) . Whatever the case, Mr. Evers and Dr. King worked tirelessly until their untimely demise to erase or at least ease the racism and injustice ingrained upon their world. They tried to change the social order of things, and were killed for their efforts. May we never be guilty of such a crime.

Crumblin' Down

My friend Cherif is a member of the local electrician's union. The union has no work right now because "it's too cold for electricity." That's weird because I'm typing on a computer by the light of a light bulb, and a space heater is warming up my legs. Anyway, he knew I am also contributing little or nothing to society at this time (at least I'm a grad student who's a drain) so he called me up and asked me to help him fell a pesky wall in his home. I guess he just has too many rooms. I assumed it would either be like a TV show with lots of sledge hammers or we would be blowing horns and walking around his house a lot. He had one little 3 lbs. hammer and I guess Muslim's don't have shofars and don't exactly hold to Joshua's conquest/usurpation of the Holy Land. Needless to say, I was disappointed. But with some power tools and grunting that wall came crumblin', tumblin' down.
John Cougar's walls also came crumblin' down today as his melodious tones came whimpering though my weak laptop speakers. Some people make New Year's resolutions to break down "walls" in their life be they mental, physical, spiritual, social, cultural, economic, or institutional. I go out there and break down the wall.